Hey everyone, I'm Robin.

About a month ago, I finally sat down and listened to the entirety of Radiohead's alternative rock album released in 1997, OK Computer. I ended up enjoying the album personally, with the songs Paranoid Android and Fitter Happier standing out as some of my favorites, for different reasons each. What I wasn't really expecting was the opening song to the album, Airbag, and the emotions I feel when I listen to it. For those of you who don't know, Airbag is about the emotions lead singer of Radiohead Tom Yorke had after being in a car accident with his girlfriend a decade prior to the release of OK Computer. This post isn't going to really delve into that as I'm not too familiar with Radiohead beyond this album, but thankfully there an old video from YouTuber Jschlatt that goes into the history of this song and examines what some of the lyrics mean in relation to Yorke's experience that you can watch here when you have the time. Today though, I want to go over my relationship with this one song.

(The cover art for Radiohead's OK Computer.)

Before I can talk about the song itself, I need to explain why the song hits me so hard. On January 26th, 2020, I got off work and called an Uber driver, like I usually did. I lived in the opposite direction of the rest of my coworkers, so I couldn't really ask them for a ride home and I didn't know how to drive. Hell, I still don't, but that's neither here not there. So I get in the Uber driver's car, sitting myself behind the driver seat, and I talk about work and stuff because I felt chatty that night. We almost get to the home I was staying in, stopping at the second to last red light, which was right next to the other light. During the whole time I've been talking, the driver has been chiming with a lot of "yeah" and "uh-huh" response. I noticed then that he was glancing back at me a lot. So he made the turn and I remember my body jerking forward and hearing a loud sound crash.

I was overcome with shock, I hadn't realized what happened. "Oh god" I remember yelling. "What- what the fuck just-" before I could finish, the airbag to the my left deployed, and for a brief period I think I lost consciousness. I saw my life flash before my eyes. Visiting L.A. for the first time and meeting two of my online friends in person. My senior year of highschool getting dinner at Buzz Inn Steakhouse with some friends, then walking to the local frozen yogurt place for desert. My mom crying at my highschool graduation. My dad coming back from deployment. Hanging out with friends from all over my school life, most of which probably forgot I exist by now. Last but not least, I saw me and my younger brothers drinking juice boxes and watching cartoons together. Then I saw darkness, and thought to myself "I'm right, there is no afterlife. I'm dead."

"Sir, come on. I need you to get out of there." That's what a cop said to me as he helped pull me out of the car. In that moment, I was awake. Everything had hit me. I was high. Not like, I was on drugs, more like I overcome with pure adrenaline. I was shaking, but I wasn't cold. I felt like I could punch someone and knock them out cold with one hit. I felt alive, because I was alive. I sat on the curb, while the policeman searched for my hat and glasses and helped get my groceries put of the wreckage. A milk jug had exploded and some pasta bags broke open, but everything else was surprisingly intact. As I began to calm down, a thought hit my head. "Shit, I have to tell my mom what just happened." At this point it was around 10:00 PM and I didn't want to call her. As I'm sure you've figured out right now, I was kind of all over the place mentally and definitely not thinking straight. So I sent my mom a text saying the Uber driver had crashed the car but I was okay, and for some reason thought the logical course of action was to take a selfie and attach that to the message. I didn't realize there was blood in the corner of my mouth from biting down on my cheek, but thankfully the shadows hid it pretty well. Here's a slightly edited version of that picture:

And for good measure, I took a picture of the car I was in only to get an album cover. Here's that picture:

So obviously my family starts messaging me to make sure I'm okay, and I'm honestly still a little dazed just from the shock of everything, so I'm telling my mom, my dad, my grandma my aunt, maybe my grandpa as well that I'm okay and a cop drives me home after a paramedic says it seems like I'm fine and don't need an ambulance. So I go home, put away my groceries, throw up in my toilet, then go to bed. As I'm falling asleep, my body starts hurting, and I just feel horrible. When I wake up the next day, my left arm is stiff and really feel it. My aunt takes me to the walk-in, and they send me to the E.R. Turns out, I wasn't fine- my clavicle had cracked and I needed to wear a sling.

So that put me out of work for a few weeks. I couldn't really do anything but watch Netflix and YouTube and make simple meals that only required one hand to make. I felt horrible, like it was my fault or something. I was worried that, being left-handed, I'd have to relearn how to write and would never be able to draw again. That's probably why I spent so much time drawing for a while after I got the sling off, but that's neither here nor there. I could go in depth about everything that came after, recovery and all that, but to make a long story short, I'm okay now and I've been compensated for my troubles. I'm never using an Uber ever again though and I feel uncomfortable sitting behind the driver when I'm in a vehicle. For the most part, I've pushed the event out of my head and had almost forgotten it. That is, until the opening guitar riff of Airbag.

Airbag is a tough song for me to listen to. It's not bad at all, I think it's a good song. It's just that the song itself gives me this really heavy and intense feeling. The first time I listened to the song, I felt uneasy when I realized what it was about. The second time I listened to it, I really focused on it- the music, the words, everything. I almost gave myself a panic attack doing that. Details I had forgotten came back, what was fuzzy became clear, I think you get the picture. What stuck out to me most though was the thing the song is named after- the airbag. In the song, close to the end, Tom sings this:

"I am born again

In a fast German car

I'm amazed that I survived

An airbag saved my life"

"An airbag saved my life." Is that what happened? It doesn't feel like that's what happened in my case. I felt the crash, there was a pause, then the airbag hit the side of my head. The pressure of the airbag slamming against the side of my head and my neck... it didn't feel like a savior, it felt like an insult to an injury I didn't realize I had. That airbag slamming against me is a moment in time perfectly captured in my head. I don't know if that's something I'll ever really be able to forget. When I was pulled out, I was amazed that I had survived. I was blown away by the fact that I was not dead, baffled even. For a while I wondered if this reality I'm experiencing right now was just some comatose dream and i was in a hospital bed, but now I realize that was just pessimistic thinking. Maybe some kind of guilt, or something.

Last night, I listened to Airbag on repeat. I wanted to sketch out something with as much detail as I could from the event. Was it a stupid idea? Probably. No, it definitely was. But I had my mind dead set on it, and there was no changing that. So, after an hour of hastily scribbling, I got this:

The moment the airbag hit me, from what I can remember. My glasses and hat flying off, the iron grip I had on my phone, the blood from my mouth after I had bit down on my cheek when the car impacted, and the dazed shock that caused me to temporarily pass out and watch my life flash before my eyes. A good friend of mine helped me calm myself, and thankfully it didn't take too long as I was pretty alright for the most part. After that though, I'll admit- I kind of do feel reborn, like I've come to understand something I hadn't figured out fro almost two years. The airbag didn't save my life. Those who care about me- my friends, my family, they saved my life.

Thanks for reading. Stay safe out there everyone. I'll see you all later.

-Robin.

Hello everyone, I'm Robin.

Lately I've been working on an article related to the infamous Satanic Panic and the lingering affects it has had on society, but I've decided to take a break from that to talk about an anime that has come to mean a lot to me. This anime in question is of course, FLCL, or Fooly-Cooly. FLCL is a an episode that is only six episodes long with each episode being roughly your average thirty-minute runtime. Despite how short the series is, it's stuck with me in ways that no show ever really has and I find that only a few people I know have the same experience. Before you continue reading this, I highly recommend you watch the show in question or the rest of this article won't make any sense at all. It's available on Hulu as far as I know, and someone uploaded all six episodes to YouTube with the English dub. You shouldn't watch that one though, because that's piracy, which is why I don't have it linked here. Though, it is really easy to find, just saying. As far as English dubs go, I actually like this one a lot, and I do recommend you watch that one. Well, right now I feel like I'm stalling, so let's just get on with it.

(Official promo art made for DVD releases.)

So, if you're just coming back to this post after watching the show for the first time, I imagine a lot of things are racing in your mind. A lot of questions as well, such as:

"What did I just watch?"

"What was up with those eyebrows?"

"Why was Naota able to pull robots out of his head?"

"Is this supposed to be some kinda coming of age story?"

"Why the fuck did Naota's dad dress like a Nazi in episode five?"

"What does Never Knows Best mean?"

All of those, at least, are questions I myself asked after watching this show and I imagine I'm certainly not alone. All six episodes of this show hit me really hard, and I knew I just couldn't figure it all out at once- and for some reason, that bothered me. So I watched it again. Then I watched it again. And again. And again. And now it's one of my favorite shows of all time and I'm still not entirely sure why. When I watch this show, I think of a lot of things- relationships, family, friends, growing up, puberty, depression, anxiety, regrets, loneliness, bad times, good times, happiness, fond memories, forgiveness, acceptance, moving on. I think of all of that and more. But two things stick out to me.

The first is the idea of a crush, or feelings of romance. It's littered all throughout the show and it mainly ties back into our favorite pink-haired alien claiming to be a member of a space police force and wielding a 1974 left-handed Azureglo Rickenbacker 4001c64 electric bass guitar as her primary weapon- Haruko Haruhara. To me, Haruko is a lot of things. She's chaotic, she's funny, I'd even say in some scenes she's badass. But she's also cold, calculating, manipulative. Haruko is to me, a really awesome girl that you fall for and do your best to impress only to realize she only flirts with you or pays attention to you to use you, and I don't think seeing her this way is at all unfounded. She even says as much in the final episode, FLCLimax, during her conversation with Commander Amarao. Amarao has spent the entire series trying to warn Naota that she's not trust worthy at all, and he's proven right when she uses Naota to activate the Medical Mechanica factory plant. She knows full well doing this will cause the end of the world- a mass flattening of the world, smoothing out the wrinkles on the brain so you can't think. She just doesn't care. All she cares about is Atomsk, the pirate king.

Commander Amarao says that Haruko is in love with him, but I'm not entirely sure that's true. To me, Haruko seems more interested in his power. After all, Amarao himself says Atomsk has so much N.O. he can steal entire star systems. N.O., explained once again by Amarao in episode four, Full Swing, is a mental process that utilizes the unique functions of the separate left and right brains and combines them to draw objects and energy across light years of time. It's also one of the most subtle penis jokes I've ever seen, given the growing of horns out of the head and the scene where Haruko uses Amarao's N.O. in episode five, Brittle Bullet, but that's beside the point. Actually, speaking of that scene, that brings me to the point of the eyebrows. They're not just pieces of big seaweed paper that Amarao sticks to his face where his eyebrows should be, they're N.O. blockers. That's why he freaks out and looks for them when they fall of in the scene with him and Haruko and why he gives Naota some in FLCLimax. Amarao is someone who has obviously had history with Haruko, calling her by her supposed real name, Raharu. He seems to be someone who was used Haruko in the past, the same way that she's Naota in the show.

Naota is a kid. That point is driven home a lot in this series. But he's not just a kid- he's a kid who's trying to act like an adult. His father and grandfather are immature and childish, his brother's girlfriend doesn't even seem to be all there, and his friends, well, they're kids as well. Naota is bored, living in a countryside town with nothing to do, when Haruko hits him, with her vespa- and then immediately hits him in the head with her guitar. Over the first five episodes, Naota warms up to Haruko, even developing feelings for her. He's jealous of her and his dad's relationship in Full Swing. He lies to himself and tries to convince himself he loves Mamimi in Brittle Bullet. This all culminates with thee events of FLCLimax, where Haruko and Canti have vanished for a month. Haruko randomly shows up back at the house, and after some back and forth between the two, Naota hugs her and cries, asking where she went. On my first viewing, I thought the scene was a little bittersweet, and thought Haruko asking him to run away with her was her making up for lost time. On my second viewing, I saw that scene completely differently. I noticed Haruko's expression when Naota hugged her, sobbing, and I realized she really didn't care. She didn't really console him, she barely even hugged back. She just kind of stared off into the distance, not really reacting at all. It was as if she had done this before, and I don't doubt for a second that she had and likely will continue to do it after the show ends. To add insult to injury, at the end of the episode she asks him to come with her again, only to smugly tell him he's just a kid and fly off, only leaving him her bass guitar.

(The fight between Haruko and Amarao and his Interstellar Immigration Department agents from Brittle Bullet.)

The other thing I think about when I watch this show is the phrase Mamimi always has written on her cigarettes- "Never Knows Best." It's a phrase that has stuck with me since I first watched the show in January of 2020. It's a phrase that at one point was the thing I constantly thought about. Mamimi Samejima is an interesting character, and her connection to this phrase is just as interesting to me. Mamimi is the supposed girlfriend of Naota's older brother, Tasuku, who she affectionately calls Tao-kun. After he left to go to the states, she began using Naota as a replacement of him. Mamimi calls anyone she can have some kind of loving control over Tao-kun. She calls Naota Tao-kun. She calls the cat she rescued Tao-kun. She even calls the Terminal Core, a dog-like robot that works as the key to the Medical Mechanica factory's activation, Tao-kun, even feeding it motor bikes of people who have wronged her.

Mamimi is poor. Her parents are implied to be separated, or at least don't like each other. She washes herself in the river. She has bags under her eyes and smokes cigarettes despite being in highschool. She's lonely, she's depressed, but more importantly, she's a delusional person. She's lost in this fantasy of her and Tasuku being together despite learning he has an American girlfriend at the end of the first episode. She's deluded herself into thinking the robot that came out of Naota's head is a god from a video game she plays, giving him the name "Lord Canti." Lord Canti is a character from the game she played in episode two, Firestarter, the game in question sharing the same name. It's an endless game in which you burn down parts of a city to prevent demons from taking over. There is not winning. The goal is to burn enough to get the blessing of Lord Cantido, god of the black flame. In that same episode, mysterious acts of arson have been happening all over town, and Naota realizes Mamimi is the arsonist in question. He finds her in front of a burned down elementary school, rumored to have been intentionally burnt down, though that was never proven. He remembers his brother went to school there- alongside Mamimi, who he rescued from the burning school.

I don't think that Mamimi and Tasuku were ever really in a relationship, at least not a real one. Tasuku never calls or responds to any of her messages ever and while Naota's grandpa hates her for dating Tasuku, they never really explain why that's the case. While I don't exactly have evidence for this idea, I think he hates her because he knows Tasuku only dated her out of pity and never actually wanted to be in a relationship with her. Mamimi, in my eyes, looked up to Tasuku as more than just someone to love, but as someone to idolize and worship, and maybe subconsciously as someone to coddle and protect. Not at all a healthy relationship. One thing Mamimi said has stuck with me ever since I first watched the show. It's what she says to Naota about the burned down school in Firestarter when he finds her, and it's something that I think shows why she has some sort of desire for control:

"I hated this place. And so... I wanted it to go away. But it's useless. Even if it burns down, the ash and dust still remain."

This is great and all, but what does "Never Knows Best" mean? Honestly, I'm not too sure of that myself. Maybe it's short for "Mamimi Never Knows Best." I think given the context of everything I said just now, it would make sense. Though, to me it's a phrase that just kind of resonates with me. It hits a cord somewhere with me where I feel like I understand it, but at the same time feel like I don't get it. Maybe it's my general cynicism or depression. Maybe Robin never knows best. I certainly feel that way a lot, and especially thought that all throughout 2020. NKB has sort of felt like a motto of mine. Sort of, but not quite. Howe can it be a motto if I don't really know what it means? I'm honestly not sure. All I know is something about that quote just... hits me. I resonate with it and don't resonate with it at all. I feel like I understand it and feel like I don't understand it. I don't know how to explain it, and I doubt it makes any sense at all what I'm saying right now. I just know that Never Knows Best, and yet I don't even know that.

(Mamimi in episode one, Fooly Cooly.)

FLCL is a show that I wish I had scene much sooner. I think about it a lot, and I love it. The seemingly random shift in art styles from time to time, the incredible soundtrack made by Japanese rock ban The Pillows, the various aspects of all the characters I relate to, the incredibly animated action scenes and expressions, the humor... and of course, Never Knows Best. I'm well aware that there are two new series, FLCL Progressive and FLCL Alternative, and while I appreciate the names being references to two genres of rock music, I must admit that the most interaction I've had with those series is the trailers and the soundtracks that were also done by The Pillows. I guess part of me is scared they'll somehow ruin the original show for me, and I want to avoid that. I know it's silly to think that way, but you never know.

Thank you for reading this. I'm sorry if it comes off as a mess, it's kind of a collection of thoughts more than anything else. If you ignored me at the beginning and haven't watched the show, please do. To quote the original Toonami Adult Swim ad for the show:

"Stop cramming your pie hole with bons bons, and pay attention. This show will change your life. Or, if this is the life you've chosen, you'll love this show."

I don't know if those words hold true for my dad or some of the friends I've show this show to, but I think it does hold true for me. Thanks for reading.

I'll see you all later.

-Robin.

P.S. I genuinely have no fucking idea why Naota's dad was dressed like a Nazi in Brittle Bullet.

Hello everyone.

I just finished a playthrough of this free mobile game I found and I wanted to share my thoughts on it with you. The game in question is called "Alter Ego," created by the company Caramel Column Inc., who actually recently made a spin off of this game called "Alter Ego Complex."

Alter Ego is a clicker game, similar to say, the infamous Cookie Clicker, but it takes that base and expands it greatly. The game opens with a character that appears as a face on a wall, or perhaps a door of sorts? The face is split right down the middle, so it's hard to tell. The refer to you as their "lost child" and introduce themselves as "Ego Rex." In the game, you walk along a black hallway and tap on whispers to gather the game's currency, Ego. Once you collect enough Ego, you can speak to a girl named Es to advance the story. Yes, you heard right- this is a clicker game with a story, and that story leans heavily on psychology and philosophy- especially that of Sigmund Freud's concepts of the Id, Ego and Superego.

The philosophical themes can be seen with the game's auto-clicker mechanic. Where in most games they're something like a farm, in this game they're books. Not just any books, but specifically a hand selected series of books that contain strong philosophical themes to them. You start with the book No Longer Human by Osamu Daizu but can collect more books later on, such as Franz Kafka's The Metamorphosis, Marie Shelly's Frankenstein and even a book that acts as a collection of Edgar Allen Poe's works. You can "upgrade" a book by spending Ego to turn the pages of the novel. Once you reach a certain point in the book, you will be greeted with a quote from it, which will then start appearing as whispers. The whispers, which you tap on, appear as simple speech bubbles with quotes on them. At first only the question "What am I?" will appear. However, reading and taking Es' quizzes will add more quotes.

Speaking of Es' quizzes, I should explain that. When talking to Es, she will often give you a quiz or a puzzle in order to determine aspects of your personality. It is important to note that this is done as a gameplay mechanic and is far from an actual psychological evaluation. You can retake these quizzes, however at three points in the game you will be notified that you can not change your answers any longer. This is because your interactions with Es will lead you down paths that then lead to one of the game's three endings. I will not spoil the story of this game as I recommend you play it. I will say though that I hope you come to a better ending than I did when you play this game.

The game is available on the app store. It's free, and while it does have ads, they are in no way intrusive. If they really cause that much of a problem for you, you can pay $2.99 to get rid of them. Yes, this game does have elements that you can pay for, but unlike a lot of other mobile games it is not a problem and you don't need to pay for them to progress through the game. There are four downloadable content packs that add in extra scenarios, but I personally have not played through those. I'm sure some of you may be wondering what my experience with the game's story is like, but I think I'll save that for another day.

If anything I said sounds interesting to you, feel free to play the game and let me know what you think of it in the comments down below. (Try to keep them spoiler free though.) With all that said, thank you for reading my post. I'll see you all later.

-Robin.

Hello everyone, thanks for coming to my page. A few weeks ago I sat down with my friend Andrew Allanson of independent game studio Ackk Studios, a co-creator of the game YIIK: A Postmodern RPG. I first played the game in 2019, shortly after it released and I really liked the game. I still like the game now, though for much different reasons than I did initially. I joined a Discord server made by other fans of this game and found out that both Andrew and Brian Allanson had joined it at some point. It's been really cool getting to know Andrew over the past two years and hear from him his experiences in game development and the receptions his finished products have received. So, for the first time ever, I decided to interview him about what working on YIIK was like and ask him about some of the controversy that sprang up from the game's release. I think I've delayed enough, so here's the interview I had with Andrew!

A picture of Andrew Allanson.

(Image source: https://andrewallanson.bandcamp.com/)

Robin: “Thanks for agreeing to this interview! Here's the first question of the day: Where did you get the idea for YIIK?”

Andrew: “The idea started as a desire to see a new RPG in a modern day setting. From there my brother and I talked about the types of people who might be in a modern day RPG. etc. etc.”

Robin: “And those types of people ultimately became the game's main party, correct?”

Andrew: “That's correct. At the time we started hipster fashion was really in. Especially in the Indie Game Scene. Many of them looked like time travelers. Wearing their Dad's clothing from the 70s. Longing for a bygone era. This eventually led to Alex and the crux of the plot. The general idea came together pretty quickly and early on.”

Robin: “Speaking of Alex, that actually brings me to my second question: Alex’s monologue narration is often a common critique of the game. You guys seem to have listened to this criticism and in the 1.25 update of the game, you added in a mode for reduced monologues. Do you think that people are missing out in any way by playing this mode or do you think it’s a completely fair way to experience the game’s story?”

Andrew: “YIIK desperately needed an edit. Unfortunately we locked the script in very early to accommodate how long the audio engineer needed to cut up the dialogue and record all of it. I prefer the v1.25 edit to the original version. I always wanted to chop it down but it didn't unfold that way. So I'd say it's my preferred version and what I'd recommend. I don't think anything so vital is lost that you can't infer easily based on Alex's general attitude.”

Robin: ”Alex's general attitude is certainly a big part of this game. What inspired his character the most aside from the hipster fashion?”

Andrew: “Alex is someone who is stuck in the past. I wanted him to be like someone you might know. I've met a lot of people like Alex. Stuck in the past. Living life through a series of conversations about media from their childhood. Expecting life to unfold like a story. I was also very interested in what seemed to be misplaced meaning in the lives of many people like Alex I had encountered. They elevated things and held them sacred to the point of breaking them. I noticed people like Alex had a tendency to try and make others around them behave and think as they do. They couldn't handle people thinking or having a different upbringing than they did. So I thought those were unusual character traits, and thought that it might be interesting to make a story about someone who lives life as the protagonist in a video game. Not understanding that Cloud is only cool in Final Fantasy 7. He feels his story needs to be told. He wants to be noticed.”

(Image source: https://youtu.be/SKJHJnqPX9I)

Robin: “Since we've given this much attention to Alex, it's only fair we hear about the rest of Chondra and the gang. What inspired the other party members, in both design and personality?”

Andrew: “We wanted characters who weren't typical. Brian designed them, and then Brian and I talked about them and gave them stories based on that. So Brian designed them, then we named them, then gave them stories. You'd have to ask Brian about the designs as they're all his doing.

We wanted to avoid obvious tropes. Not saying YIIK is without tropes, of course. Just that the cast were all trying to feel like pretty normal people. With normal problems, with a sort of supernatural filter between them.For Michael, the photographer and the creator of ONISM, his story was pretty obvious when I saw him. He would be the guy who knows more than he lets on.

We thought it'd be fun to have someone use a wooden sword. Who would fight with this weapon? Claudio is an Otaku because of his weapon. Which led to Anime being the thing he shares with his lost brother. Chondra was supposed to be the sort of big sister who you go to sometimes for advice, but ultimately you kind of get a thrashing because she's so disappointed in your choices. We thought of a pop musician girl who uses a keytar to fight.

So once again, the weapon inspired the character. Rory's lack of fighting was based on him being the opposite of Alex. Alex views himself as a sort of hero. An important guy. Rory isn't a fighter. He's a lover. Essentia was inspired by the idea of an anime statue come to life. Willed into existence by something unholy.”

Robin: “I see. I'm a little surprised that in at least two instances, the weapon came before the character. I guess that's just how developing a project goes. Speaking of developing a project, oftentimes you have to face setbacks you didn't expect. The game was set to release in 2016 but was delayed to a 2019 release. What setbacks did you face in development that led to that delay?”

Andrew: “My Mother was very ill battling cancer. Ian cut his hand and wasn't able to work for a few months. We definitely bit off more than we could chew with the scope of the game. It was a combo of amateur mistakes and my Mom dying right around the time we had sent the first beta to beta testers. We took some time off, and when we returned to look at the beta feedback, large portions of the game's design frustrated the player. So Brian and I had to work hard to try and make a version that didn't have THOSE issues as they were pretty unanimous in what they disliked about it. Mainly the scale of locations and the lack of visual quality. At that time we were out of money. So it was just Brian working on it to finish it up so we could release it in a state that addressed what we knew people disliked. In a lot of ways it improved the game greatly. In a few ways it made it worse as it was still built on ideas weaker than what we were capable of making by that point. But you just have to roll with the punches.”

Robin: “But even after the game was released, you didn't stop working on it. In fact, you released a big patch at the beginning of this year. The 1.25 patch in January reworked a scene people found lackluster as well as completely overhauled the game’s combat system. What do you think you improved the most about the game through this update? Did the game's mixed reception inspire you to work on the game more?”

Andrew: “I think we got closer to having some sort of combat balance. We also improved the pacing of the battle mode. Additionally, we gave the emotional weight back to a scene that was underdeveloped for the importance of it. I don't think I'd say it was the mixed reception but more the inspiration we got from the YIIKcord and the fans who emailed us and were really jazzed by the game. So we thought that means the game has some merits, and we should update it so they can be more obvious. So we spent a lot of time thinking of a creative approach to improve the game, and we thought of a few fun places to do new things. From there we were really inspired and decided it had to be a really major update that improved the crux of the flaws. I don't think we can change anything about the game that will make you love it if you hate Alex yiik so much and think that there is no merit to exploring a character like that. But we are doing our best to present the material in a way that is elevated from what the game currently is. So I hope everyone looks forward to YIIK I.V... the next update we have planned.”

Robin: “Speaking of I.V, that's actually my next question! What’s in store for the next update, I.V?”

Andrew: “We'd like the specifics to remain a surprise but I can confirm there will be additional scenarios that develop Claudio, Chondra, Michael, Vella, and Rory. There are also a few new faces in the game. We've improved the final boss greatly, and the ending sequence. Additionally we've added a new dungeon and 2 new bosses. We've also created more engaging and animated cutscene sequences for the most pivotal moments of the game. All of the new story sequences also use this new cutscene style.”

Robin: “And most of the new content is exclusive to a New Game + file, right?”

Andrew: “There are a great deal of new sequences in the base game. That has also been greatly improved. We recommend a fresh save file and trying out some of the other new options. What those options are have to remain a secret for now. But you'll find a fresh coat of paint has been applied to much of the base game. If you play NG+, you won't necessarily see those sequences.”

Robin: “I see, I see. How exciting! 2021 has certainly been a good year for YIIK, with it gaining popularity due to a let's play series by the YouTube channel OneyPlays. How do you feel about the sudden surge in the game's popularity?”

Andrew: “Positively. It's so fun getting to engage with a new group of people who are seeing the game for the first time. The reactions are always varied when you get to talk to them one on one.”

(Image made by Hitori from YIIKcord.)

Robin: “Do you find the memes with Alex's screaming pose funny?”

Andrew: “yeah it's awesome hahaha” (That’s exactly what he wrote.)

Robin: “Good to hear!”

Andrew: “Some of them I definitely don't understand but I always get a kick out of a YIIK meme. So many games are immediately forgotten, so it's cool YIIK has only gained in infamy or popularity.”

Robin: “I think it's good when creators can take a joke about their work. I find it funny how my friend can just send me a picture of a vinyl record on sale for 30% off and a picture of Alex screaming and I just immediately get the joke. And actually, earlier this year a vinyl record featuring songs from the YIIK original soundtrack was released through Yetee Records. What was it like getting to produce a record with your songs pressed on it?”

Andrew: “A dream come true! I'm really happy it finally happened. It was something I wanted since we made Alex fight with a record. It just had to be done. I'm grateful to The Yetee for producing it and making it such a high-quality product.”

Robin: “Are there any more plans for merchandise you’d like to share?”

Andrew: “We're going to put out Alex's Two Brothers shirt soon. Then we have a cool Vella figure in the works that'll be released as a small run. That will be after I.V... and if I.V does well, maybe we'll do more. We'll see!”

Robin: “Is the Limited Run Games physical release still happening?”

Andrew: “Yes. Once I.V is completed we will do the physical release with Limited Run Games. We just want the final version on there. So we have to wait.”

Robin: “That's understandable. What platforms will it be coming for?”

Andrew: “PS4 and Nintendo Switch!”

(Image from: https://youtu.be/39SfWR1t8dM)

Robin: “Excellent! You previously worked on a game called “Two Brothers,” which you mentioned earlier is referenced in YIIK through Alex's shirt some other minor references. At the end of YIIK, the main character of Two Brothers, Roy Guarder, shows up and talks to Alex. A lot of people have interpreted his speech to be you dismissing the criticism that Two Brothers received upon its release. Do you think this is an accurate take away or do you think that’s a misinterpretation?”

Andrew: “That's a misinterpretation. Alex meets Roy from Two Brothers to give him a pep talk because we are using the game as a stand-in for some other video game hero. I would have loved to have made it Cloud or Link... but that's complicated. But it's a stand in. Alex so desperately wants to be the main character. The player character... So that's what this scene is about. I don't mind criticism of our games. I have no need to dismiss it. It's people's opinions, and much of it is excellent advice on how we can improve as developers. Brian and I both went to school in the arts and every day was a to-your-face critique from your classmates. It's just part of being a creator.”

Robin: “On the topic of criticism, there’s a rather infamous quote from your appearance on the comedy podcast, The Dick Show hosted by comedian Dick Masterson where you say that you’ve prepared a statement and then say that your “mistake was thinking games are art.” Would you like to explain what you meant in that clip? A lot of people seem to think you were saying you don’t see games as art, but a clip of that segment in question ends with you saying “I’m not saying that I don’t think games are art.””

Andrew: “Sure. I was trying to be an entertaining guest on the podcast and I didn't think about how the comment might be misunderstood. I was responding to a specific tweet that I had thought was silly. It said that video games have to be fun, so making an unlikable protagonist is objectively bad because it's anti-fun. So I felt that this type of thinking was a severely limited way of thinking about games. If games can't challenge the player or make them uncomfortable as a rule, because they must always serve "fun", that seems to me like you're saying games are toys and not a work of art. That they are just things you play with. But Video Games are a boundless medium and we've only scratched the surface. So in short, my comment was to express frustration in an over-the-top way about a tweet that said something silly about video games. The point I was trying to make is that video games are art.”

Robin: “While we’re on the subject of controversy around the game, people have noticed connections between the character Semi Pak and the case around the death of a woman named “Elisa Lam.” A reddit comment was found stating that her death was an influence on the game and a trailer for the game shows Alex walking towards the water tower in Wind Town as her face flashes on the screen. A scene later in the game seems to make reference to the case as Alex and Rory talk about someone who died in a similar manner to Lam at the same water tower featured in the trailer. Is Semi Pak based on Elisa Lam?”

Andrew: “Semi Pak is an amalgamation of some famous missing women. Specifically, the rumors surrounding the myth of their deaths. Myths created by communities that obsess over these missing people. She represents Alex's twisted fixation on something he can't ever have. When I first started to write YIIK, the Hae Min lee case made famous by the NPR Podcast Serial was pretty popular. There were a lot of people who became very invested in this case. There was a subreddit. I also noticed a lot of my friends listening to true crime podcasts. Shows that just tell you horrible sad true stories. I was curious and I checked out the various forums around these shows, and I noticed a sad and disturbing trend that people were creating these idealized and twisted versions of real missing people. This was all over the podcast/missing person website communities. It was really sad to see people build these stories around very little information and extrapolate something that never went missing in the first place. Some weird version of a person they've never met who had a horrible and tragic life. That they fetishize. In a way it gives them meaning. But it's all based on this weird myth that talking about them can somehow solve a case, or bring someone back. The community looking into Elisa Lam was one of the sadder places. I think it was likely posts around her that inspired the behavior of Alex. She isn't meant to be Elisa Lam, but Elisa Lam has been a target of this behavior and the game is aware of that. Perhaps I drew too much on a real case for some people's taste. I could understand that. Times seem to be changing. However, I think YIIK is about why creating avatars of real missing people is bad. I don't believe Sammy/Semi is substantively anything like who Elisa Lam the person was. And that's kind of the whole point. You fill in the blanks. You think of posts you've seen about similar stories. Draw on the real world to let people make the connection. But Sammy isn't Elisa Lam, because Sammy isn't even Sammy. She's an idealized version of a person no one who uses ONISM has EVER met.”

Robin: “What do you think was the biggest mistake you made during the game’s development?”

Andrew: “Not understanding how big the scope of what we were attempting was. How much the undertaking would actually be.”

Robin: “Do you have anything you’d like to say about other claims made against the game, such as it promoting transphobia and other forms of hate?”

Andrew: “It was sad to see. Very difficult to deal with. The lie that YIIK was intentionally transphobic did a lot of damage. Caused us a great deal of harm personally and professionally. Thankfully it seems to be cleared up now where it mattered.”

Robin: “In an interview with Indie Boost released on February 28th, 2019, you were asked the question “What’s it like making a big RPG?” to which you responded “It’s a huge mistake. If you were thinking about doing it, don’t do it. It requires so much content and the expectation of the level they’re going to be at in terms of quality.” Do you still stand by this statement or has your mind changed drastically on that question since then?”

Andrew: “Yes, if we're talking about a 3D RPG that tries to be traditional in scope. If it's something radical it could be done easier.”

Robin: “Do you regret making YIIK? Or Two Brothers, for that matter?”

Andrew: “No.”

Robin: “Is there anything you would like to say that hasn’t been said?”

Andrew: “I want to thank all of the people who have supported YIIK. It was a small community at first, but it's really grown into something cool. I'm excited for you to see I.V. I think it'll be something that you'll really get a kick out of even if you think the game is only kinda interesting as is. ”

Robin: “What are your plans for the future?”

Andrew: “Vacation again once I.V is done...”

That's the end of my interview with Andrew. I'd like to once again give a big thanks to him for agreeing to this interview. This is the first interview I've ever really done, so any feedback is greatly appreciated. I'm looking forward to the I.V update myself and I can't wait to see how Andrew and Brian's work pays off. Maybe I'll interview Brian or Andrew again sometime in the future after I.V comes out. If you guys have any suggestions on how to make the next interview I do better, feel free to let me know. With that said, thanks for reading!

I'll see you all later.

-Robin.

Update 3/29/2024: Removed a credit at the individual's request.

Hello World.

I'm Robin. I like to do stuff. Draw, play games, watch YouTube, make videos, write, etc. Right now, I'm working on trying to tell a story through the use of YouTube videos by using sort-of played up versions of myself, the way Scott the Woz is different from Scott Wozniak, for example. My first video will be one on the game YIIK: A Postmodern RPG. It'll be pretty long, I'll share a link to it once it's out. I appreciate any feedback you guys offer on the things I put out.

What are you uploading here?

I plan to upload my own drawings once I get a tablet or a scanner to scan my sketches and stuff with. Maybe I'll make music in the future or do a podcast and put that stuff here as well. What I do know for sure I'll be doing on here is uploading behind the scenes stuff relating to my video projects whenever I feel ready to share that stuff. On top of that, any interviews I do will also be uploaded here as well, including the interview I plan to do with Andrew Allanson, one of the creators of the game YIIK that I mentioned earlier. I'm not going to promise a date for when that will be posted because I currently am not sure when it will be posted. I hope you look forward to the content I make in the future.

Did you make your profile picture and banner?

No I did not! I commissioned them from a long time friend of mine, ZachJaDa! He did a really good job on them both. I wanted something simple and I felt the black and white aesthetic would fit NewGrounds really well, what with the Tankmen being black and white and all that.

This banner features the three previously mentioned played up versions of myself I'll be playing as on YouTube across three different channels. I'll make a future post going over each of them in depth at some point down the line.

This profile picture is more meant to just be me myself and not any of those other three. A little confusing maybe, but just know if you ever see me drawn in a way that doesn't have a core element of clothing taken from those other three, then that's probably a drawing of me and not of them. I know this is all a little confusing, so I'll clear up that stuff whenever I get around to explaining who those three are. I hope you understand.

With all that said...

I guess that concludes my sort of introduction to this site. Glad to see this site I used to go on from time to time as a kid is still alive and kicking. I'll see you all another time and in case you forgot,

I'm Robin.